The Self Sufficient Sim: Hamburgers don't grow on trees

It takes me ten minutes of staring at the screen but I eventually make a decision. I click ‘no thanks’. Joe just hangs up the phone without saying anything which, I think, is a little harsh. It wasn't an easy decision to make, just talking on the phone is not seeing someone after all. But I thought cold turkey is the best way to beat the habit and anyway chatting would eat into Joe's precious time, time that could be spent doing important joy inducing activities! Having hung up the phone I struggle to find something for Joe to do… so I send him to bed.

So the score… at the end of day thirteen Joe is at 11,847. I feel vindicated as it is a noticeable improvement over the days Joe spent with Tamara. Therefore despite my misgivings about my morally dubious segregation of Joe and his love interest, day fourteen starts with me, and Joe apparently, in a better mood. First thing I do (after making Joe tend to his garden, I think it better in future if you just assume that every day starts with Joe attending to the garden) is send Joe into town where he sells his surplus fish and vegetables and makes two hundred simeloloenansnsms (I think that’s the spelling). Not bad! But totally unsustainable. It took most of the previous day for Joe to catch enough fish to sell - and I had some in the fridge left over which I sold as well - and while the garden is productive the veg doesn't sell for huge amounts. So while Joe is definitely self sufficient at this point - I don't remember the last time I sent Joe to buy food - we need to find a quicker source of income if I am to replace both the shower and the cooker. Okay the shower isn’t really a priority problem but the cooker hasn’t been replaced since the third fire and Joe is currently living off tomatoes.

Hmmm... still broken.

I then send Joe to the restaurant to drop off the vegetables they need (20 excellent veg of any type – I said the garden is ridiculously productive at this point). My reward? The secret knowledge of how to plant and grow Cheese and Hamburger plants… excellent! Is it wrong to be this excited by a Hamburger plant…? no is the answer. No it is not. That is simply the best thing ever. Yes soap is good, and I suppose medicine is alright too but neither of them come close to a plant that grows Hamburgers. As soon as I get the chance I am sending Joe home to plant a Hamburger bush! (now if anyone spots at this point why this plan failed you definitely deserve some Joe points! Collect enough and you can send off for a tea cosy!)

I find this picture just slightly unsettling.

After considering for a while I realise our best money making venture, other than completing opportunities but they are a bit scarce these days, was collecting things. A quick hours work usually made Joe a good 200s if I could find a decent site with stuff to collect. I search around Sunset valley for a little while and stumble across the graveyard. It is full of things to collect, which is great, but more importantly waiting within the grey stone walls is a pleasant surprise and a not so pleasant surprise. The pleasant surprise is a small flower tucked away in a corner. A Death Flower Bush. Given the optimistic name I can see why you might think it would be unpleasant to stumble across a Death Flower Bush, but you are wrong. On closer inspection it turns out this plant is… perfect. What a find! All I have to do is wait for it to produce something I can harvest (probably a day at most) come back, collect the harvest, plant it in my garden and wait for it to grow. The perfect plant produces a perfect harvest which, when planted, produces perfect plants. Joe is therefore a step closer to achieving his lifetime goal!

Its probably used to make potpourri or something.

The not so pleasant surprise… his name is Shan Feldman. I have finally found one of the two guys who were constantly spying on Joe and he is hanging out in a graveyard… that’s not creepy at all!

All he needs now is a white cat and a swivelly chair!