Ganked by Ghandi: Fall of an empire

The aid suddenly burst through the door, flushed and breathless. Ghandi sipped his wine leisurely and with a lazy flick of his hand indicate the aid to speak.

'Sire, the Siamese capital has fallen to Khan, his forces are subduing the masses as we speak. He will march on the final Siamese city within weeks.'

'Thank you... err... Des... Donald...  I really should learn your name, you have too big a part in this story to remain nameless. What is it?' Gandhi asked with fained enthusiasm.

'Sire... the Siamese.'

'Tell me your name my fellow. This wine doesn't sip itself you know, quick, quick.'

The aid sighed, closed his eyes, took a deep breath and forced himself to say, 'my name is 'The Aid' sire.'

'What?' Gandhi sat up, his brow furrowed.

'You had it changed, because apparently my old name was too hard to remember. You considered creating a law decreeing all your government ministers should be called Derek, but then decided it was just easier changing only my name when you found out how much paper work was involved.'

Gandhi thought for a moment, 'What was your old name?'

'Derek...' 

'My ingenuity impresses me every day.' He said to himself, 'I prefer 'The Aid' anyway.'

'Yes Sire,' The Aid continued. 'About the Siamese.'

'Don't worry about that conflict, it has a long time to run, His waves will break against the cliff for years to come, because, to be honest, Genghis is a tactical numpty.'

This doesn't look good for the Siamese (1640ad)

Sukhothai, the Siamese capital, quickly fell to Genghis Khan's aggression and he moved swiftly onto the final Siamese city (Si Satchanalai) where he employed a hugely radical and highly risky tactic. This tactic is so original that I haven't even worked out what he was trying to achieve. It is a testament to this great historical leader that such 'out of the box' thinking was being employed to confound and confuse his enemy. And what is this great tactic? Constantly bombard the city with Trebuchets and archers. That's it. Don't actually attack the city, just bombard them. Hmm... maybe it's not so brilliant, maybe it's just quite dumb!

Okay... this Siamese are still in trouble (1715ad)

1555ad: Steel Discovered - Swords now 35% Deadlier, 26% Pointier and 47% less likely to rust when covered in blood.

1585ad: Sukhothai captured - Siamese cats discovered. Annoying song from Lady and the Tramp released soon after ward. 

Khan surrounded the city of Si Satchanalai with ranged units and bombarded the city, so far so standard, and then did nothing. He just kept bombarding it.  A single Siamese archer  inside the city continually whittled his army down destroying unit after unit and he would just replace them either archers or Trebuchets (and occasionally a cannon to mix things up). This went on and on and on and on and on and on... for over a hundred frigging years! Sorry, i don't mean to get upset, but I just sat and watched in disbelief. It went on so long that Siam eventually managed to recruit a Naresuan's Elephant unit, sneak it around the back of Khan's forces and annihilate them one by one. In the end I got frustrated, removed 'Dave the Swordsman', my reporter on the scene, from the area and sent him back home to be upgraded to a Longswordsman.

... *sigh*... (1765ad)

1610ad: Big Ben Built - Still nowhere to put it though.

Big Ben reduces gold purchasing in all my cities by 15%, which came in handy a little further into the game. I changed my research target to Stock Exchange, the last big economics tech I needed, and let the time slip by and the money pour in. The next two hundred years were slow without Khan ineptitude to keep me interested. I amassed a huge fortune and sudden inexplicable wars kept erupting between all the major powers. I was knuckling down for the final push. I was closing in on the ultimate target, the United Nations, and a fitting victory for Gandhi. I would still need a few tricks though.

Yeah baby! Although, this all goes in about
two turns! Exciting times...

'I see... a building... and inside it a large conference chamber. All the nations of the world are represented by diplomats. World problems are rationally discussed and agreements made amicably and peacefully. A resolution is drawn up giving clear instructions as to the best solution to any problem and then, they are ignored and every country does whatever the hell they like... perfect.' Gandhi mused as he lay in the shade eating grapes. 'I shall call it the United Nations,' he continued 'and it will be pointless.'

Siam was finally conquered, in 1840ad, but I'm getting a little ahead of myself. I'm guessing they ran out of elephants.